Sarah’s World | Part 1

In Sarah’s World, we step into the life of a dancer beyond the club floor, exploring the experiences that shaped her and the woman she is today.

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

I wish I was part of your family. Can I join? You are. It's like a colt. Yeah. But like a good one. Welcome to More Than Glitter, Voices Unheard, a podcast with the stories shimmer brighter than the stage lights. I'm your host, Mariah Edwards, and I invite you to join me on a journey into the lives of those whose voices are as captivating as their performances. Here in our safe space, we go beyond the glitter and glam. We sit down with dancers from all walks of life, uncovering the stories behind the sparkle. This isn't just a show about strippers, it's about the person beneath the persona. Today we sit down with Sarah, a remarkable individual whose journey is both inspiring and empowering. Sarah has navigated through life's stormy waters with exceptional strength and resilience.

SPEAKER_01 1:13

And so like we would always have parties in the backyard and like bonfires, or like all the dads would sit on one deck and like smoke their cigars and cook steaks while the kids are like running around. So I'd say probably all those times when we were just like in the backyard, like whiling out, and our dads were just like chilling on the deck, and the moms are like in doing whatever. I don't even know what they did. But like us kids were just out in the backyard, like raising hell through like a we basically just had a giant backyard because it was like four houses deep of backyards. So we would just like play wiffle ball or like just play tag, or like go in a sandbox. So I feel like just like being outside and chilling out, yeah, it was just fun.

SPEAKER_03 2:05

This is the house that I've been to, right? Yeah, Mama T's house. It's so warm and like inviting.

SPEAKER_01 2:12

It is. I love I'm glad that she's still there.

SPEAKER_03 2:16

I'm glad that you had that experience.

SPEAKER_01 2:19

Yeah, it was fun. I think I just liked it because we really could kind of do whatever we wanted. We really could just run for backyards, like, and no one really told us no, so that was nice.

SPEAKER_03 2:33

When you were a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?

SPEAKER_01 2:37

Um, I'd say the first thing I can remember wanting to be was an Olympic gymnast. I did gymnastics for so long when I was little, so that's like what I wanted to be when I grew up, that or a doctor.

SPEAKER_03 2:51

Did you have any family traditions as a child?

SPEAKER_01 2:55

Uh, I would say, what did we do? I mean, growing up like holidays, we always like Christmas Eve was like my mom's side, and then Christmas Day was like my dad's side. So we did that for like a long, long time. Yeah, I'd probably say that's the main one I can remember because it was always like that. Mom's Christmas Eve, Dad's Christmas Day.

SPEAKER_03 3:16

How would you describe your relationship with your family?

SPEAKER_01 3:20

Um, I'd say it's really good. Like now. Um, I mean, growing up, me and my mom butted heads like so much. So much. And I'm like a daddy's girl through and through. So, like, I mean, they would fight all the time, but like I would use that to my advantage, honestly. Like, if my mom said something I couldn't do, like I would go ask my dad. My dad would be like, Well, what'd your mom say? I'd be like, She said no. He'd be like, Well, why? I said, I don't know. That's why I came to ask you. He's like, Okay, just go and don't tell her that like you told me what she said, so just pretend like you asked me so I don't get in trouble. I'm like, fair perhaps. I said, I am a daddy's girl and I will be forever. Like, you know, so I did definitely like pin them against each other, but not even pin them against each other, but I used being a daddy's girl to my advantage.

SPEAKER_03 4:22

That is so funny.

SPEAKER_01 4:24

Yeah, but me and my mom now are definitely way closer, and I mean she helps me so much with Sai. So grateful for her. And yeah, my brother and I are pretty close. Now that he's older, because we're four years apart, like when we were younger, obviously you didn't want to like hang out with your little brother. But yeah, now I'd say we're definitely way closer.

SPEAKER_03 4:46

Did you have a favorite place to visit as a child?

SPEAKER_01 4:49

Um, yeah, so growing up, I think almost every year, like every other year, we went to the Wisconsin Dells, like as a family trip, literally every year. And like, probably till we were like, probably till I was like 16, 17. So we always did that. My mom's like not a fan of water. She's not like a w, like pools really aren't her thing. And like, so my dad, that was my dad's realm. Like, he would always take us like down the slides or like things like that, and she would just like sunbathe, which not even sunbathe because she's so pale, so she would burn, she'd just be inside, but like literally, so yeah, that's probably we did that so often, and now like my mom takes us every couple years to the Dells again, but yeah, so it's fun.

SPEAKER_03 5:41

I love that. What made it so special?

SPEAKER_01 5:45

Probably just that we were like all together, probably, I don't know, or like she still like came to the pool, even though she hated it. Like, you know, like yeah, it was just fun. It was something we did every time we went to usually the same place, like the wilderness in the ho in the Dells, like the wilderness hotel, and there's like a million things to do there. So yeah, it was just fun.

SPEAKER_03 6:14

What's something you needed as a child but never received?

SPEAKER_01 6:17

Probably maybe more like reassurance. I think. I don't know. Maybe that I was like, yeah, I'd probably say reassurance. I mean, I was a gymnast for so long, so I was very disciplined when it came to like sports and athletics and getting all my stuff like done that I needed to, but in gymnastics it's so particular and you have to be perfect all the time. So I think that kind of fucked me up. Where now I'm like, okay, if I'm not perfect all the time, something's wrong, kind of. So I feel like maybe if I maybe if they were just like, no, like what you are doing is fine, like even though it's not a hundred percent, like at least it's you're there, you know. But I mean that was like it came with gymnastics. I knew what I was getting myself into, kind of. But yeah, so I'd say reassurance.

SPEAKER_03 7:17

I think we all need that. I think so too. I don't think any of us has enough of that.

SPEAKER_01 7:24

I agree. I feel like everyone too deserves to be like reassured as many times as they need it.

SPEAKER_03 7:31

Mm-hmm. Totally agree. Yeah. How did you get into dancing and how old were you when you started?

SPEAKER_01 7:38

I think I started what, it's been like seven years that I've been dancing. So yeah, when I was like 22, um, and I don't know, like I used to go out and stuff like that, and I would always go into like the strip clubs and gentlemen clubs, and I just loved the vibe. I've always was just like, it's so chill in here. Like everyone's so fun. And um, like I was a young mom, so I didn't really have like a college experience or like anything like that. So that was like going out for me. And then I knew a couple girls that worked at Rhino. And um, I can't remember which one of them I messaged. I might have messaged like a couple of them and was like, hey, how do I like apply? Do you have a like, do I need a resume? Like, like, no bitch, you walk in there and chill your tips pretty much and keep it moving. And that's what I did on a Monday. On a Monday, I went in and um, yeah, just like uh auditioned. Literally, all I did was put on a laundry outfit I had, and he was like, Do you want to work tonight? And I said, sure. I think I made like $1,400 that first night, and I was like, This is it. This is the Oh my gosh, I love that for you. I know, so then the rest is history. And here we are. Seven years later.

SPEAKER_03 9:06

How do you handle the stigma or judgment associated with dancing?

SPEAKER_01 9:11

Um, I feel like I just kind of don't care. Like, I don't know, I don't really care like what people think or what people say. So if people are like, oh, you're a stripper, I'm like, yeah, I make way more money than you. So like, what's the problem? Like, I kind of don't give a shit, you know? Like, I don't know. I've always been a person that's just like a free spirit and just like do whatever I want to do whenever I want to do it. And I was safe, I was having fun, I was making money, my bills were paid. Like, so I don't really care. Like, I just kind of am like, okay, cool. Have you ever been there? You want a job, is what you're telling me. Like, and I feel like now, like at first, I mean, I was more quiet about it, but now like I don't care at all, and like everyone close to me knows. So, and they're half the time my friends that aren't dancers are like, I want to dance with you. I'm like, girl, I don't even dance with me. Like, I go once every every little bit, like, sure, you can come once every four months, but I'm not gonna babysit you. Yeah, go on your own.

SPEAKER_02 10:22

Exactly. Nobody held my hand.

SPEAKER_01 10:25

I swear to god, I was in there free balling, hoping for the best. We're doing this.

SPEAKER_03 10:35

Does your family know you dance, and how do they feel about it if they do know?

SPEAKER_01 10:39

My little brother definitely found out like before my mom did, and he never cared at all. Or like, we're a very like weed friendly brother-sister. And so, like, anytime like we would argue or something, and I've we would kind of blackmail each other if he was like, Oh, yeah, we'll all tell mom. I'm like, Oh yeah, does she know you sell drugs? I love this. Okay, that's fine. You want to play hardball? You want to play checkers, bitch? I'm playing chess. Let's go. Go ahead, tell her, tell her, and so then she actually found my TikTok. My mom did, like, um, maybe a year or two, probably two years ago. And um, she just asked me because I just told her I did bottle service, I didn't even want to deal with it. Like, love my mom. It's just always been we are so polar opposite when it comes to like us, and like I'm very free-spirited and like don't give a fuck. And she is more like emotional, cares, you know, that type of thing. So I just didn't even want to open that can of worms and was just kind of like, I'm an adult, obviously I'm gonna do what I want, but I just didn't even wanna, I didn't want one more thing I did for her to like worry about, or her to I knew she was gonna like worry about it, and it was gonna be, well, are you okay? Because it's such a mom thing, and I'm like, Yeah, I'm totally fine. So then when she did find out, she I remember her bringing it up to me, and I was like, Yeah, like she just flat out asked, and I was like, Yeah, she was like, Oh, like kind of like I think she thought that conversation was gonna go different, and that I was gonna like lie to her about it. I was like, No, like I'm I think I was what 26, 27 at the time when she asked, and so I was like, Yeah, I was like, Well, are you safe? I'm like, Yeah, like I've I've never felt more safe. Like, I don't know. I feel like we had like awesome floor guys and like great like people there with us that made sure we were good, so I never felt like unsafe. I'm also just an aggressive person, so I don't give a fuck. So yeah, then when she like found out, she was just like, I just wanted to like make sure you were safe. Like, why didn't you tell me? And I was just like, I love you, mom, but like you know who you are, like you're a little judgy when it comes to me, or like I'm covered in tattoos, and she has never liked my tattoos. Like, she'll just, oh yeah, I'd rather put it on a wall, or like she likes my hair dark, or you know, it's never it's like anything I do. She'd be like, Oh, but I wouldn't do that. I'm like, well, thank god I'm you know, my own person. God forbid.

SPEAKER_00 13:33

Literally, literally.

SPEAKER_01 13:35

So it was kind of just like, yeah, I think she was just more upset that like she didn't know. Like I didn't tell her. I think that bothered her more so was that like I didn't tell her first.

SPEAKER_03 13:49

She probably was actually kind of sad that you didn't tell her because you do have such a good relationship with her.

SPEAKER_01 13:56

Yeah, I think that's really what it was too. And then I I can't remember if she was like, Well, does your brother know, or does like any other family know? I was like, Yeah, all my cousins know, like my little brother knows, like just rub in the wounds. I know we're like sorry, sorry, but yeah, they they do know, and like they don't care, like because I have my cousins on like my Snapchat, my social media and stuff, and none of them ever cared, or low-key, they would come visit me, or like my friends would come visit me and stuff like that. So she was, and it was more so like I think her. So my mom's side of the family is more like conservative, judgy, that type of thing. My dad's side is like very just doesn't give a fuck. So no one really cared, but like I I think she too was just more so concerned what like her family was gonna think, where I don't care. So I'm like, love me or hate me, like love you guys, but I don't think it was like an issue. I don't know. I'm just that way. Like, I think everyone should do whatever they want to do whenever they want to do it, and like I'll love you regardless.

SPEAKER_03 15:03

Yeah, yep.

SPEAKER_01 15:06

How does dancing impact your love life? Um, definitely in the beginning, it was very like I mean, like said it was fine, but like then it like if we argued, it would be an issue type of thing. And you know, like I get it as a dude, I think it's just an insecurity too. To like you have to be a very secure man to like one, have a badass girlfriend, um, and like especially dancing, like I feel like you just have to be very secure and know like it is a job, like it's not like I'm out here at the bars, like talking to dudes all the time, like that type of thing. Like, I'm literally doing this for money, and I mean I would explain that all the time. I'm like, if you want to do it, do it. I will support you a thousand percent. Please go make this money, go do it because there is a lot of money in this shit, you know. Like, I don't know, I'm very like body positive and just like openly sexual, so like I don't think of it as like a bad thing, if that makes sense. Like, I think it's just capitalizing on stuff that's gonna happen anyway. So it's like it's true, yeah, you might as well, you know. And so I mean it was rough at first, but and too, like I've noticed the less I've been there, the like better it is. But yeah, I think it's just you have to be very, very secure in yourself, which I feel like a lot of guys lack. Um especially when it comes to like having a girlfriend in the industry. Like, I I get it, I get the other side, I understand it, but then too like like I said, it's not like I'm doing this like on a normal day out, like nor for free. I don't even talk to you for free, you know, like if I'm talking to a regular, I'm getting paid.

SPEAKER_03 17:01

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 17:02

Like, I would not talk to them outside of this. I probably wouldn't even look their direction as assholey as that is, but like I you know it's true, it's so true. Ten out of ten times, I promise you, you know, like I guarantee it. Yeah, so it's yeah, it was hard, but I mean ups and downs, got through it, and definitely hit their less helps too. Had you already started dancing before you met him? Well, too, we we've known each other since like high school, but yeah, I was dancing before we were together.

unknown 17:43

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 17:43

So like you knew all the start. Got it, okay.

SPEAKER_01 17:47

Yeah, yeah. So I was always open with it.

SPEAKER_03 17:50

What do you find most rewarding about dancing?

SPEAKER_01 17:53

Um I feel like that could go a couple ways. One, obviously the money. Two, like yeah, like two, when I started, I wasn't I mean, I was like confident in myself, but I wasn't like I'm a bad bitch, like don't give a fuck what anyone has to say when I first started. Like, just because I like not shortly before that, I got out of like a horrible relationship with my son's father, and he kind of like degraded me as a human, so I was in the process of like building myself back up, and I think dancing honestly gave me that confidence, like realizing I'm a bad bitch, and like I control what's gonna happen and what this is and how much money I'm making in the night to a certain extent. Like, so I think that was probably the biggest takeaway I've taken away from dancing is like the confidence it gave me, not only in myself, but to just not give a fuck about what anyone says, especially men. Like, I don't have a problem telling anyone off, like at all. I don't care who you are, I don't care how famous you are, how much money you have, like it doesn't fucking matter. Like, I don't give a fuck.

SPEAKER_03 19:11

Which I don't totally agree.

SPEAKER_01 19:13

Yeah, which I think was probably my biggest takeaway.

SPEAKER_03 19:17

It's really empowering, like crazy as it sounds to be a dancer, the confidence that you get out of it and the love for yourself that you actually start having by being a dancer, yeah, loving your body, loving your own choices that you make. Like, I make these decisions. Nobody's making me do this, nobody's forcing me to do anything. I'm gonna do what I want to do.

SPEAKER_01 19:43

Exactly. I agree. I think that's like a huge thing that people like misconstrue, like that aren't in the dancing world or in the industry of at all, whether it's you know, OnlyFans or anything, like it really is empowering for women just because we are making those decisions, which in daily life, as shitty as it is, doesn't really get to happen all the time.

SPEAKER_03 20:10

Mm-hmm. As a mother, how does dancing look like for you?

SPEAKER_01 20:15

I feel like it's so different, um, work-wise for me, because I can't just drop everything if a regular is like, hey, I'm at the club, where are you? One, I'm an hour and a half away for one, but two, I'm like, I am the sole provider of my son. Like, so I have him all the time. I, you know, even when I was dancing a couple days a week, like I scheduled those days out with my mom who helped me watch my son. Um, so it was way more planned out. And two, like I was going in there to make money for us. I'm not there to fuck around and get drunk and party and like, yeah, you're having a good time, but like I'm there to earn money for to provide for my son. Like, I'm not there to fuck around. You know, I'm in there, like, I want to make money and I want to go the fuck home because by the time I get home, it was four or five o'clock in the morning. I'm tired, my son's up in two hours.

SPEAKER_03 21:19

Like, that's so difficult.

SPEAKER_01 21:22

Yeah, and he's always up at the ass crack of dawn. So it was like, I want to go home. Like I'm trying to go to bed and at least get a couple hours before I have to get up.

SPEAKER_03 21:32

I love that you're you have your mom to watch him though.

SPEAKER_01 21:36

Yeah, definitely blessed with her and how much she helps me out. Don't know where I would be without her. I don't know either. I know. I'm like, you I hate being so like sentimental too, especially when it's like me and my mom. Like my mom's so emotional, and I'm like, don't know where I'd be without ya. She has fucking saved my ass plenty of times. And her and my son have such a good bond. That they definitely like would not have without them spending so much time together.

SPEAKER_03 22:04

I love that.

SPEAKER_01 22:06

Which I think is good for both of them, to be honest.

SPEAKER_03 22:09

What's the craziest thing a customer has wanted in a private room? Or do you have a funny story about the club in general?

SPEAKER_01 22:16

I'm trying to think of like narrowing it down. Um, I mean, this one's just funny to me because if anyone knows me, I hate feet. I hate feet more than anything on this planet. Like, I don't like I hate it. And I remember I was in like one of our expansions rooms with one of my regulars, and I remember one of my friends like ran into the room. She was like, You need to hurry up, finish this room. I have like two hours prepaid for us, like $2k an hour. And she's like, You're gonna hate it, but you're gonna get money. And I was like, Okay, whatever. So I finished, I think I had like 10 minutes in my room, whatever. When I go to this room and I tell you this man had a foot fetish, I looked at her, I said, I said, You fucking piece of shit. Why would you do this to me? I said, You know, this is like my worst nightmare. And she goes, You just got $4,000. And I said, Kay, what are we doing? All he wanted to do was literally have us take our shoes off out of our thing, and he just massaged our feet. Tell me why. I go, I said, can I please go rinse off this foot that's been in this fucking shoe for eight hours? He said, No, I like it when they're not. And the way I looked at her, and I said, I said, I don't know if 4,000 is worth this. Like, I don't know if I should do this right now. I said, I honestly, I honestly don't know if I can fucking do this. And he was like, I'll throw in another thousand cash. And I said, Okay, okay. And I sat there, and the way I have never bleached my fucking feet so hard afterwards, I'm like, oh my god, like not only were they just like sweaty, I did not have a pedicure done because I wore like boots at the club. I was not prepared. Oh my god, he was living his best life, and I'm over there living my nightmare, like my literal nightmare. Like, could have been way worse, but like for me, that was it. For me, I'm like, there's nothing else in this club that someone could fucking say, and this is the worst. Like, this is the worst day of my life. Like, honestly, I'd rather die than do this right now. But 5k did make it a little better to deal with. So I'm like, I suppose I'll I'll take one from the team.

SPEAKER_02 24:41

I honestly feel like I would feel the same way. I would just so my feet touch.

SPEAKER_01 24:47

Uh, I was just like, ew, they're so sweaty and like gross right now, too, sir. Like, you have no idea. And he's like, I love it, it's so much better. Like, he was so nice, but like just you having a foot fetish weirded me out so much where I'm like, I never want to see you again. Like, I never want to, and then he'd be like, Oh yeah, I'll I'll let you guys know when I'm back in town and like we can do this again. And I looked at her, I said, I said, honestly, I think you should take his number because I don't think I can do this again. She's like, for 5k. I said, I might have to say 10 next time because this is a lot for me, and I'm traumatized still to this day. I think about it. And like right now, my feet are squirming and I want to shower. I was like, it was so gross. I'm just like, I just hated every second of it. Did he fuck on your toes? No, he actually didn't at all, but okay. One of my biggest pet fucking peeves is when like someone does this with like your foot, like does their hand in between your toes. Ew, that was like the the shit he fucking did, bitch. And I wanted to die. I literally was like, I don't think it could get any worse than this. And I think if he would have tried to suck on a toe, I would have left. I would have been like, that's like I'm almost traumatized by listening to the story. Bro, even the fuck it like hand holding my toes, bro. That shit was so weird. I was like, this is the weirdest shit I've ever encountered in my entire life. Like, not an old man trying to whip his dick out, not anything like that. No, you hand holding my foot. This is weird as fuck. And I need to go home. I want to go home now. I want to go home right now. I don't even want the money anymore. I just need to get the fuck out of here. I'm done. I was so finished after that. I'm like, bitch, I'm not coming to work tomorrow. I'm not. I took the next week off. I'm like, bye. Don't speak to me again. I was so over it, dude. I was like, this is the worst day of my life.

SPEAKER_03 26:59

It's so gross. Yeah, it was traumatizing. Do you have any other crazy stories? Shoot, I'm trying to think.

SPEAKER_01 27:07

I feel like that one's just so engraved in my mind.

SPEAKER_02 27:10

That's really funny. It's a good one.

SPEAKER_01 27:12

I think that's like my top. I mean, you get the weird ones where you get an old man try and whip out his like micro dick here and there, and you're like, sir, put it away. Nobody wants to see that. You're like, no, that's not what this is. Go away. Those are there's been plenty of times where I just like got up and left. Like so many rooms when I've just been like, I have to go. I have to go to the bathroom. Seven times. Don't come. I take all my shit. I'm like, oh yeah, I need my bag, my shoes, my top. I need my top to go to the bathroom. I have to go. Sure, and I will not see you again. Then they come upstairs and you're like sitting with someone else.

SPEAKER_02 27:57

You're like the amount of times when it's actually a busy night and girls are selling rooms. Yeah. Amount of times you just walk past rooms and guys are just sitting in this by themselves.

SPEAKER_03 28:12

And you go to the bed, you go to the dressing room, and there's like tons of girls. Oh, yeah, I'm in a room right now. No, technically you're not.

SPEAKER_01 28:20

You're in the dressing room talking. Why is that me? Every time I'd be in the dressing room, just like tits out, have like have my outfit half down. Be like, oh, I'm going to the bathroom. You'd be like, Nova, aren't you in a room? I'd be like, Yeah. I'd be like, he's fucking weirding me out. Or like they'd be so fucked up or like tired that they've fallen asleep. I'd be like, Yeah, he's taking a nap. I told him I'd like to get away. You need a break 10. Yeah, I'm like, I have to be. Sometimes you need a break. You need a mental break, especially like when you're doing one-on-one rooms and like the guy's like not a regular or like they're just weird. You're like, I have to go pee. Or so many times. I have to change my tampon. Sorry. And like Ron and chant, like, guys are stupid. They don't know. So like 10 minutes later, I'm like, oh, another tampon. I'll be right back. Like, bitch, I don't even have my period. Like, like, what the fuck? So it's five times.

SPEAKER_03 29:15

That's why it's always easier to work with another dancer.

SPEAKER_01 29:19

Exactly. And I feel like, too, like, even now, going back to the club, like these girls don't understand that because a lot of them are new. So I'm like, girl, you were doing 10 times the work if it's just you. Like, my goal is at least three bitches in there, if not seven. Like, so yeah, if one of us goes to the bathroom, he's never gonna know.

SPEAKER_03 29:40

No, we can all take turns to have a break.

SPEAKER_01 29:43

Yeah. Even just sitting in there sipping on a drink. Like, there were times when I've had like I remember we had this one regular, and he would always bring like six girls in, and um we would take like shifts, like two of us would just be sitting, talking, like drinking champagne, and like the other three or four would be like dancing, and then we just uh ship them out, two are in the bathroom, like just keep going. Like that way, he's never bored and we're not dying. Like, wow, that was the easiest hour and a half, two hours of my life.

SPEAKER_03 30:16

Exactly, totally agree. Making money way easier, and not draining your soul doing it.

SPEAKER_01 30:24

I know those solo one-on-one-on-ones are rough sometimes. Unless, like, I have regulars where I do one-on-ones and I love them, and like half the time we're talking. But some, like when you're just meeting people and they're like, Oh, I only want you, and you're like, Great. So fun. I don't want you at all. Exactly. Yes. Like, and I did just double my price because you're annoying the fuck out of me. Like, already, and we're not even in the room. I'm like, wow, actually, they like ask you the room price right away, and then you're like, Oh, yeah, it's actually a thousand for 15 minutes. And they're like, wait, I thought you said it was like 300. I'm like, oh no, like actually no. We don't, I don't do anything like that. I'm like, when did you what other girl were you talking to? Are you not thinking about me anymore? Should I go? Like, oh fuck, so you didn't want these big double D's. Okay, babe. Okay, I'll go. I'll see my I'll hold my own door open. Bye. Oh, that is one thing too. I we do gaslight the fuck out of them a lot of the time. We do, it's bad. I know, and we don't even realize it. I know, it's like a like light bulb in my head just goes off randomly, where I'm like, ooh, I was gaslighting that fucker hard. I'm like, oh my god, I feel so bad. I'm like, ooh, I should go like cleanse. Like, oh god. But I'm like, We need to find God right now. Yeah, I'm always like, oh, he deserved it. He deserved it though. Like, I thought you said five. I'm like, we get down there, it's like 900. I'm like, no, babe, I said nine. Five, nine. They're like, oh, okay. And they just like go along with like okay, oh my god. Uh like, oh my god. Like, sir, you need help. It is what it is. Time is money, baby. I'd be like, no, remember, you were tipping me for talking to you on the floor. And be like, what? I'm like, yeah, we talked for 30 minutes. That's $500. Plus, the a thousand we're gonna do for this hour. Come on, babe, you get it. Don't you remember you're smart? Come on, babe. Like, I knew you weren't a pretty face. You you are so smart. You fucking idiot. Like, what the fuck? I swear to god. Half the time I'm like, is this real life? Like, there has to be a way, like, Ashton Kutcher's coming around the corner like I'm being pranked.

SPEAKER_03 33:00

Like, there's no fucking way. What brings you the most joy and fulfillment?

SPEAKER_01 33:05

Probably just like like being genuinely happy. Like, don't get me wrong, I'm anxious and stressed like all the time, but like I feel like I'm just like, I have such a mindset of like it could be worse always, to where I'm just like so grateful for anything I do have, or like the people in my life I'm so grateful for. I feel like I weeded out most of the shitty ones. I mean, who knows if there's still some hanging around from only time will tell. Um, but I feel like I've just like grown so much that I'm just like happy with where I'm at and where I'm going. So I'm kind of just like very glow glow go with the flow right now, but I'm just like taking everything as it comes, like realizing when stuff happens, like it's not the end of the world. And I feel like just appreciating like waking up in the morning. I don't know. Like I bar I bartend now again now too. And we get a ton of patients who come in and who are here for some of the most horrible like things that are killing them. So I feel like very grateful just like waking up in the mornings and not having a disease or something that's incurable. Like, don't get me wrong, I got a medical condition, but it's not life-threatening. So, like, I can't complain at all. I feel like I'm just grateful my loved ones are healthy, my son is growing, you know, like, and that's all I'm really like focusing on.

SPEAKER_03 34:41

What has been the most defining moment in your life, and how did it shape you?

SPEAKER_01 34:45

I honestly feel like there's not just one. Like, I feel like I kind of have like a lot of different moments where I've felt have made like such an impact on like my growth. I mean, probably first and foremost, like having my son when I was 18. That probably was a huge moment in my life. And then like losing my dad like a month later, that probably was like a huge, not probably, it was like a huge major life change, obviously. And then getting myself out of like a horrible relationship, I feel like was another one, and then even taking a step like into a different relationship after that. I feel like that was like a big jump for me because I was just like, I will never be in another relationship, men-nate shit. Like, I'm not fucking dealing with a man ever again. Too bad I'm not lesbian enough to like be with a girl. Like, you know, like I just can't fucking get there. Like a bunch of different smaller moments where I'm kind of like, I feel like they all sort of molded me to where I am today. And like, I don't think I would say one specific thing. Like, I obviously you do so much growing like in your 20s. But like I just turned 29 and I feel like I know who I am, like, and I'm comfortable enough in myself. I know what I deserve, I know what I want, like I know what type of mother I am, like what I want to do, you know. Like I just feel very confident and like happy with myself, if that makes sense. I feel like now I'm finally to a place with all these, they're not even minor things. Like I feel like they're pretty big things, but like I'm finally to a place where I'm like happy with my life and the direction it's going.

SPEAKER_03 36:45

Thank you for listening to More Than Glitter, Voices Unheard. We hope you enjoyed this episode. If you haven't already, please subscribe, share, and leave a five-star review. Tune in next week for part two of Sarah's story, where the journey into understanding, acceptance, and the beauty of being seen for who we truly are continues. Remember, everyone has a journey the world never sees. Be kind and remember, you are loved. If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse, it's crucial to seek help. The National Domestic Violence Hotline can be reached at 800-799-7233. 800-799-7233. You are not alone. Like it's so complicated. But I don't.

SPEAKER_01 37:33

Well, you're faking it so you can do it because it's working. Do you listen to podcasts? Yeah, I do. I'm like, no way. Yours had ice cream at 7 a.m. So did mine. Literally, me every time I just talk, I'm like, oh, not sure where I was going. I have no idea what I was saying. Now we're here. Yeah. Not my hand not matching my face. Not wearing a bra.

SPEAKER_03 37:58

You still have your headphones. I can hear you pee.

SPEAKER_01 38:01

I was gonna say, can you? Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_03 38:05

I'm trying to give you the reassurance that you need in my own way.

SPEAKER_01 38:09

Yeah, I know. Your reassurance is a little different, but I'll take it every time. The fact that both of us are so non-serious, after every serious question, we have to like just make a weird ass face to each other, like, okay, you're still in there, dude.

SPEAKER_03 38:29

So are you a stripper? I am. Just kidding.